Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria and ADHD
What is Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD)?
Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) is having a severe emotional response that comes with intense feelings and sadness based around the feeling of being rejected or perceived rejection. People with ADHD tend to be people pleasers and helpers and are more likely to fear rejection so they may feel this emotion severely. It is part of emotional dysregulation. When someone doesn’t know that this can be a condition associated with ADHD or has the awareness to know this is what is happening to them, they are unable to stop the spiraling or the snowball effect of this emotion. The feelings of failure, betrayal, sadness, or pain can then snowball and grow larger. Education is key and can lead to validation. Without knowing the person can spiral. If one is aware and knowledgeable about this, they can work on it and try stopping it in its tracks rather than having the feeling take over them. This also can build over time, first, it may be a family member, then a boss, and soon the person is doubting themselves and their ability to be liked. They start to ask themselves what is wrong with them and question why this person rejects them. This can cause intense & overwhelming feelings in someone with ADHD and it can take over and impact the life of someone with ADHD. If someone is unaware of the why and what, they tend to not have the ability to seek help or understand how to move past this feeling. Without understanding yourself as an individual most humans try to compare and contrast themselves in order to find answers or see where they should line up.
Symptoms of RSD and common causes of RSD
RSD can make someone with ADHD feel embarrassed, inadequate, or sad and can affect one’s self-esteem and confidence. Not managing RSD can strip someone more and more of their self-confidence. In children, it may be more evident when they have emotional outbursts. They may burst out in tears and sob, or throw a fit of rage in response to their internal feelings. Many adults feeling this way may internalize these feelings, they can build up and then later be released as an emotional outburst or lashing out. Without understanding and knowing what is going on, RSD can be frustrating and overwhelming for a person to internalize. It can also be misperceived as bipolar disorder when the person continuously internalizes, building over time until the adult lashes out with full anger or sadness that has been compounding. Having these internalized feelings can lead to lower self-esteem and self-confidence and then can affect other relationships in their life and work. Fear of taking on new projects or tasks, now fearing more rejection with other things or people. They’re fearing failure. Another way this can play out in a person with ADHD is they learn to try to overcompensate. Become a perfectionist or become more Type A, control the possible outcome of rejection from someone, avoid any type of criticism, and improve their people-pleasing skills or it can lead to more anxiety and phobias, avoiding situations that may lead to any rejection, causing more anxiety and/or social anxiety. A person may try to control their setting and their environment in order to keep their emotional dysregulation in check.
The Link Between RSD and ADHD
There has not been much research conducted on RSD as of now. It is a fairly new label and still not fully embraced by all medical doctors. To date RSD is not a mental health condition nor is it listed in the DSM. More studies and research must be done by experts in the field and that has just begun over the past decade or so. Some therapists or doctors say this is an exaggerated feeling compared to neuro-typicals. The person experiencing rejection can feel devastation, making one feel it’s unbearable to handle. Without help processing these feelings, they can take over and lead to greater anxiety and depression. When someone with ADHD looks and compares themselves to others to find answers, they can feel different or broken because they see that others seem to be able to move on faster or easier and they tend not to get “stuck”.
An ADHD Life Coach Can Provide the Guidance You Need
Education is key for a person with ADHD. To thoroughly understand how their brain works and how it is wired differently is huge. The key is it’s not wired wrong, it is wired differently. When one can realize why their emotions are so strong and intense or their ability to regulate may be different than others. All this knowledge can lead to validation and not only an understanding but an acceptance. Without any knowledge of what is going on within them, one is left to compare and contrast oneself to others. They may compare themselves to a neuro- typical who is simply not wired the same as them. ADHD people tend to be the helpers of our world, the empaths and nurturers of our world, they are passionate and empathetic. They are sensitive. This gift of sensitivity must be understood and it also must come with boundaries so it can be balanced and not to be taken advantage of by others. People with ADHD can be magnets, they tend to be the caretakers of the world, so people are drawn to them. But they can also be hurt easily. Behind the charismatic funny person that seems so strong on the outside, they may be battling a lot of deafening emotions on the inside. An ADHD coach can help someone understand their brain wiring is different. They can also focus on their client and help them understand their own brain wiring and provide tools, strategies, education, validation, etc. ADHD appears differently in all that have this gift. Many professionals and Doctors are not up to date or educated enough to understand all about ADHD. How it plays out differently in each person, how it plays out differently in males and females, and how it plays out differently from a child to an adult. A coach simply assists their clients along their journey to help them understand their past and their brains and build better coping skills, and boundaries for the rest of their journey as well as allow them to put down some of the baggage they have been unnecessarily carrying for way too long.
If you’re interested in learning more about ADHD coaching contact me today!
