What Most People Don’t Know About ADHD
There are a lot of startling facts regarding ADHD and remaining undiagnosed. Right now there are a lot of social media posts making light of the subject which is good and bad. People must understand that a lot of adults with ADHD remain undiagnosed. It is estimated that 80% of women with ADHD are still undiagnosed. Research shows remaining undiagnosed ADHD can increase anxiety, depression, and substance abuse, additionally, it can take off 13 years of one's life. Getting educated on the subject, getting a diagnosis, and working with an ADHD specialist can all help.
Having ADHD can be a curse if one remains in the dark about it. The more one learns, the more validation it creates, and puzzle pieces can go together. There are plenty of books on the subject matter for adults and children as well as couples when one is ADHD and the other one is not. There should be no shame or guilt regarding ADHD, but unfortunately, there is still a huge stigma surrounding it.
Uncommon Traits and Symptoms of ADHD
Women who have combined type or hyperactive ADHD don’t necessarily need to be spinning physically to spot it. By a later age, the hyperactivity in men and women tends to go to the brain. This involves things like:
A million thoughts at one time
Jumping from task to task
Finishing people's sentences
Blurting information out so they don’t forget to share.
Hyperactive can begin to form a type “A” personality, a perfectionist, who’s never happy with how things are now, always trying to improve on things and make them perfect. However, perfection is unattainable so we can exhaust ourselves physically trying. When we have too much going on in our heads, it overwhelms us and causes a shutdown, paralysis, and exhaustion for life. It can take the fun and happiness out of life. Learning to manage all these things can help and bring clarity to your lives.
Sensitivity
Most people with ADHD are usually sensitive because they are the caretakers of our world. They will jump into action to help strangers or even animals in need. The problem is by constantly putting others on the front burner, we forget about ourselves and can lose that balance of joy. Creating boundaries, and learning how to put ourselves unselfishly on the front burner can change things around.
Internalizing Emotions
Many folks with ADHD will also consider themselves empaths. They can absorb other people’s issues, problems, and sadness unknowingly. So they tend to internalize others' emotions as well as their own. Verbally processing these feelings and emotions is key to releasing them. If you continue to internalize and eat your emotions you can create havoc in your health system. Gut issues and digestion issues seem to go hand and hand. The more one can learn and understand how all this is related, the better equipped they can be in the future. Education leads to healthier and wiser decisions for the benefit of themselves as a whole.
Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence
Internalizing emotions can cause one to lose their self-esteem and their self-confidence. Research has shown that an ADHD person will do better with positivity and support. Punishing them and scolding them causes them to feel worse. Speaking to an ADHD coach and finding out their strengths as well as having strengths-based coaching helps. An ADHD person can be their own worst enemy. They already feel like a misfit, or like they are broken, or very different from others. If they are taught to embrace their strengths and ask for help, when they are struggling, their self-confidence and self-esteem can be raised. If someone's self-esteem and confidence is already lowered, they most likely won’t ask for help. Instead, they try to mask, do it themselves, and beat themselves up over it time and time again.
Imposter Syndrome
Learning what imposter syndrome is for a person with ADHD is incredibly important. Being that they are so critical of themselves and beat themselves up they won’t take initiative on certain jobs or positions because they are feeling like they aren’t good at anything. This is almost always false so we must learn what imposter syndrome is and then find a new way of thinking that does not sabotage us in our goals.
RSD (Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria)
Rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD) is not covered in the DSM-5 but should be. Recently, more research has come up about this and it strongly ties in with ADHD. Being that people with ADHD are sensitive and feel things deeply, the fear or act of being rejected by others can be debilitating. They already beat themselves up for everything and now if they are rejected by others in work, friendships, or relationships, it can put them into a tailspin. Learning what RSD is and how it affects a person individually can be one of the most beneficial things to turning your “story” around. Creating self-awareness, learning triggers, and learning why you are made this way can free them from the shackles of ADHD.
Highs and Lows
Many adults have been misdiagnosed as having bipolar disorder. For some professionals, they think it hints at the highs and lows. ADHD people can have highs and lows, they are deeply emotional and can feel the good and the bad more deeply than others. They get super excited and passionate about things they love and when things go bad they internalize it. Unfortunately, this can cause depression. The difference is the manic stages of 3-5 days don’t seem to be apparent in ADHD. It is important to know if you are an overly depressed person or if your depression is caused by anxiety, stress, or an abundance of emotions from ourselves and others. There are overlaps some people with ADHD may have bipolar disorder but often it is a misdiagnosis. It is important to be your own self-advocate and educate yourself on all that you can before accepting any medication. I was overlooked for 20 years and I was misdiagnosed as bipolar twice. Even after I fought with the doctor, what I read up on didn’t fit me. I had to be an advocate for my own health and well-being and I hope you do the same as well.
Emotional Regulation
Emotional regulation comes into play especially if someone is not aware of this or what it is. We can internalize and eat our emotions. We can build up these emotions and then lash out. We can only take so much, so it seems to happen many times at our breaking point. Learning to communicate with others and learning when we are internalizing our emotions is key. Learning how to look for social cues or cues within ourselves and then pulling back versus lashing out can be learned. It is unhealthy to have all these emotions, rage, sorrow, and guilt all bottled up inside. It has to come out at some point so learning to identify these things within ourselves and when to ask for help is huge.
Impulsivity
Sometimes impulsivity can lead to speeding tickets, road rage, spending a lot of money in one shot. In the immediate it feels good, it gives us dopamine but it is a slippery slope. Slowing down to analyze situations and ask ourselves if this is a need or want. Slowing down to process the outcome of our situation allows us to be more conscious of our thoughts and the ability to rethink our decisions. If one doesn’t know or isn’t aware this is an issue, how could they make better choices? We rarely allow ourselves to pull back and think, slow down and breathe, or sleep on it. Without learning how our own reigns work, we will continue to do as we have always done. Education is key!
Masking
Feeling like a misfit, not wanting to be disciplined or called out can all make someone with ADHD learn to become a fantastic actor. We mask and we learn to mask more and more. We adapt certain ways to get by and we can pretend we are fine and or we don’t like to talk about our problems and weigh other people down. All this leads to masking the internalization and the emotional regulation as the impulsivity as much as possible until the volcano blows.
Anxiety
Many women struggle with anxiety and ADHD unknowingly. I believe if ADHD goes undetected it can increase the anxiety levels. I know I struggled with anxiety all my life. It wasn’t until I learned all about ADHD and how it affects me that I felt in better control of my anxiety. Both anxiety and ADHD will always be a part of my life. Learning how to actively work with them, give myself grace, and talk myself down from perfectionism has all helped me feel better with my anxiety than I have in 30+ years.
Hyperness in the Brain
Constantly running, or being on the go, not having enough time to do anything, beginning five tasks at once, and trying to hurry through all of them are all examples of hyperactivity in ADHD. Bumping into things, tripping, breaking things, and unexplained bruises are just some of the many manifestations of a hyperactive brain. Sometimes it can benefit us by thinking out of the box, but most often we take on too much and are so willing to help others, that our plate runneth over. Learning all about this and learning how to pull back and do less is key!
Amygdala Hijack
When our anxiety and depression get the best of us it can affect our cortisol levels. Cortisol is the stress hormone. It is our fight-or-flight hormone. They have now changed it to flight, flight, or freeze. When our cortisol is overproducing it messes with our digestive system and all our other hormones. It can severely impact our health negatively. Many doctors don’t test for cortisol, I have asked and was told by numerous doctors, that’s is not a common practice. I had to pay out of pocket to a hormonal specialist who tested my cortisol. It was off the charts 24/7. I was in adrenal fatigue and on my way to Cushing's disease. When I went to my primary they gave me an EKG, when I went to my OBGYN she didn’t offer a cortisol test, nor did my psychiatrist nor did my psychologist. Why?!?! My number one complaint was anxiety and no one tested my cortisol. Being an advocate for your own health care is critical.
Perimenopause/Menopause
If one has ADHD they need to know that the change of hormones can exacerbate ADHD. Many women suffer through these changes, but for those women with ADHD, it can severely impact their life and their well-being. There is a lowering of estrogen and with your already low dopamine, and a rise in cortisol this can wreak havoc on your body, mind, and spirit. Educate yourself on the topic! I cannot stress this enough. You know YOU the best, follow your heart, and don’t allow others to tell you what you don’t feel is true or correct for you.
An ADHD and Executive Function Coach Can Provide Support
A coach with the background of ADHD education, research, stats, and studies can be life-changing for someone who thinks they may have ADHD or has recently been diagnosed with ADHD. We coach with an ADHD lens and try to meet the clients where they are and offer them a safe space to process out loud. We try to help them make sense of their life struggles and help them connect the dots and begin to turn their life around. We help them aim for goals, targets, and habits. We work to help them unleash their strengths and powers. We try to rid them of the shame and guilt ADHD usually brings on and navigate their future a little more simply and happily
If you are interested in learning how an ADHD life coach can help you or a loved one schedule a free discovery call with me today!
